In a few hours we'll wake up and begin the immense journey back home, to reality as the kids said tonight. We finished 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' this evening and in essence we are returning perhaps a little like Eustace (he's one of the characters) in that we probably have changed in ways we didn't expect. The kids are taller, I've lost more hair, Shonet's more beautiful (was that possible?). But we're excited to come home, excited to see family and friends and return to our home land and home church. We've learned a lot, but more than technical skill or new big ideas I think more than anything we are returning with a sense of calm and peace after investing in soul work. What does that mean? Well it doesn't mean that we tried to finish something necessarily measurable (how do you measure maturity or patience, grace or kindness?), but by eliminating the clutter of needs around us I do think we have experienced a true sense of Psalm 131. We made time for the long talks needed, of confession and conflict, room was made to laugh and let go of somethings and in that, time was made to listen with ears open and defences down.
I re-read an opening chapter from a book I was given at the Kirith Retreat and was struck again as to why we took this sabbatical. Just a warning, these are some of the ugly truths about pastors and their wives, here's a bit from the book:
*1,500 pastors leave the ministry permanently each month in America
*80% of pastors and 85% of their spouses feel discouraged in their roles
*70% of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor
*Over 50% of pastors' wives feel that their husband entering the ministry was the most destructive thing to ever happen to their families.
*71% of pastors stated they were burned out, and they battle depression beyond fatigue on a weekly and even a daily basis.
*One out of every ten ministers will actually retire as a minister.
These stats came from a variety of groups including Barna research, Fuller seminary, and Focus on the Family.
The author of the book continues, "We have neglected the fact that a pastors' greatest leadership tool is a healthy soul." Then to quote an old quaker, "A leader is a person who must take special responsibility for what's going on inside himself or herself...lest the act of leadership create more harm than good." This was why we got away, to slow down and listen to God in His word and be together as a family in a special setting.
I will have more things to post I am sure in the days to come, perhaps when I am bleary eyed and jet lagged, but for now we are incredibly grateful and humbled for the chance to experience this adventure as a family. Its something we will forever cherish and believe we slowed down enough to hear and once again encounter God in more personal ways than we have in a long time.
To our friends and family and to our church--thank you for praying for us and for allowing us to enjoy this time away, we look forward to seeing all of you again and hearing your stories, the ones that happened while we were away. In the meantime, there's time for one more paddle pop.
